Graduation Day

Originally Published June 2014

Saturday, May 31. Graduation day for my daughter.  Like all parents, I wonder at how quickly this day has come.  It really does seem that I just brought her home from the hospital and now she is ready to encounter one of the biggest transitions in her 17 year life.  And so am I.

On this day we appropriately focus on the graduates and what their futures hold.  Whether they will go to college, the military, or enter the workforce, they are beginning a new chapter in their lives.  Last week Darby was asking me why she feels stressed right now.  She had finished classes. The graduation dress was purchased and hanging in the closet.  The announcements had been mailed. She was ready. But she was stressed. “Why?” she asked.  I explained that it was normal.  After all, for the last 13 years she has done essentially the same thing.  Go to school.  Yes, buildings had changed, and we even moved to a new district before her third grade year, but life was basically the same.  Now everything is different. She is going to college. She is moving out. She won’t see us every day.  She has to truly be more independent. That is a big change, and big changes bring stress. But it’s not a bad stress. She will adjust and her new life will be one that in four years she will be sad to see end.

But what about us parents on graduation day?  If you are like me, you have pulled out the old pictures for a scrapbook or video. You have planned a party or other celebration. You have made reservations, cooked, baked, ordered, cleaned, and prepared.  But you might not have prepared for the change that you are about to encounter.  When we bring our children into the world, we prepare for nine months.  We attend classes and buy all the paraphernalia.  But when we get ready to launch our child into the world, we often don’t think about how we will have to change.  Even if you have raised fiercely independent children and you are looking forward to a smaller grocery bill and less laundry to do, you are in for a change.  

Take time to reflect on the wonderful child that you have brought to this day.  Enjoy his or her day.  But take time to think about how you are going to be different.  It’s time to let them go and discover.  And you get to as well.

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.     
--Mark Twain